Bill Pertwee on 'Round The Horne'

Bill Pertwee (top) with
 the 'Round The Horne'
team

Sad to hear of the death of another veteran 'Dad's Army' star, Bill Pertwee who played Air Warden Hodges.

However, for me, some of his most memorable performances were as Seamus Android on 'Round The Horne'. 
Not sure how many people remember Eamonn Andrews' Sunday night chat show - a futile attempt to rival Parkinson - but it was famous for the Irishman's inability to talk off the cuff and for his perspiring profusely when the subject matter got a little racy. 

Eammon Andrews

Marty Feldman and Barry Took's send-up was always very near the mark, never more so than in the lines (with heavy Irish accent) "My next guest has travelled literally two hundred yards to be with us tonight" and the interview-closing "And that's as true today as it was then".

'Round The Horne' is regularly repeated on BBC Radio 4 Extra - always worth a listen. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00c7q4l

Sleeper

So last night four of us went to see the ballet 'Sleeping Beauty' choreographed by Matthew Bourne. 

Before the show I remarked that the last time I'd seen a production of 'Sleeping Beauty' had been at the Birmingham Theatre in January 1967. That had been slightly different as it was the panto version starring Morecambe and Wise.  

During the interval, after an action-packed and amazing first half (never thought I'd say that about a ballet), we were discussing the performance and I said, "It's brilliant but not quite as good as the Morecambe and Wise version." 

Sleeping Beauty panto programme

Everyone fell about. Not because of my witty remark but because a woman standing next to me had given me a look of pure scorn. 

No doubt, even now she's telling all her acquaintances, "There was this truly wondrous ballet, a work of pure genius, with Tchaikovsky's marvellous music - and this moron next to me was comparing it unfavourably to Morecambe and Wise."

On the very slim chance that she's reading this: it was a joke. J-O-K-E. Joke.

Special offers

"Mysterious" black watches

Just ordered a handy reading tray on the phone and qualified for a free set of 2 "mysterious" black watches, whatever they are. 

I turned down the special offer of a torch/radio despite the protests of very nice Asian salesman Derek who said, "But, sir, not only will you be able to see where you're going in the dark, you'll also be able to listen to your favourite radio station." 

Who among us, hasn't dreamed of doing that?

I should Coco

I think it was Chic Murray who said "We never had a chimney in our house. We used to have to carry the smoke out in buckets." Salvador Dali used to tell that one when he was at posh cocktail parties, usually dressed as a lobster. 

Cezanne captures the south of France

There's been a lovely series on BBC4 about how the Impressionists discovered the south of France when it was all little fishing villages and tourist-free. Then Picasso got in on the act and the next thing you know Coco Chanel is making tans fashionable among the chic thrill-seekers such as legendary photographer F Stop Fitzgerald. 

Narrated by Richard E. (for Ernie) Grant, the programme made me long for sunnier climes. 'Death in Paradise' does the same but that also makes me long for that beautiful actress who plays the sexy foil to Ben Miller's stuffy, suit-clad DI. 

You can't always get sexy foils any more. We used to lead the world in manufacturing them but alas all the factories have been pulled down to make way for cut price hypermarkets and tanning salons. I blame Coco Chanel, who should not be confused with Coco the Clown, even in an emergency. This has been a public service broadcast.

Coco the Clown

Coco Chanel

Photo finish!

Having taken lots of PR photos for Newport Playgoers' production of 'The Hound of the Baskervilles' it was nice to see them used in the South Wales Argus. Even nicer was the fact that one of my photos was used on the cover of the paper's weekly Guide supplement.

Thanks very much to the Guide's editor Andy Howells - and I recommend you visit his amazing website where he writes about everything from 'Dad's Army' to Doctor Who:
http://andysretrospace.blogspot.co.uk/

Victor Mature versus the Mau Mau

Barely able to move I lay on the settee today and watched 'Safari' starring Victor Immature and the lovely Janet Leigh (a few years before Hitchcock had her stabbed by a psycho in the shower).

Amazing film on many counts, not least because the African bearers, despite having a rich musical heritage of their very own, chose to sing a Jamaican calypso as they bounced across the plain on top of a truck. 

The lyrics mentioned every African animal and just by chance they all went past when their name came up. Also featured a rhino charging mercilessly at a shop window dummy and tossing it in the air. Those rhinos, eh.

Vic was bent on revenge as the Mau Mau had killed his (very annoying) son. All that was left was the toy tank Vic had given him. Needless to say, Vic took that tank on safari with him.

Janet Leigh went down the river in a bright yellow dinghy for a lark and was menaced by dozens of crocodiles before going over a waterfall. She survived that only to be menaced by a dozen more crocodiles. We've all had days like that.

Making "ghosts" for 'Blithe Spirit'

Recently I had the pleasant job of photographing members of the cast of Newport Playgoers' production of Noel Coward's supernatural comedy 'Blithe Spirit'.

The play is about a man who, for a dinner party amusement, arranges for a medium to come and hold a seance - which conjures up the ghost of his first, mischievous wife, Elvira. Only he can see and communicate with her - much to to the consternation of his present wife.

In the play, Charles Condomine (David Constant) 

accidentally summons up the spirit of 

his dead first wife, Elvira (Eloise Rossiter) 

much to the annoyance of his second 

wife Ruth (Rosamund Jones-Griffiths)

I thought it would be good to use Photoshop to actually create a ghostly image of Elvira and these are the results, achieved by taking two photographs and overlap them using layers, then adjusting the opacity and adding a slightly green filter to give a spooky effect.

These are the results. Next project is to make a video trailer for YouTube in which a see-through Elvira talks about the play - and hopefully entices people to come along and see what promises to be a truly haunting production. Noel Coward’s sophisticated comedy ‘Blithe Spirit’ is at the Dolman Theatre from Wednesday 12^th – Saturday 15^th September at 7.15 pm, with an extra matinee performance on the Saturday at 2.30 pm. To book tickets call 01633 263670 or visit www.dolmantheatre.co.uk. More information is available online at www.newportplaygoers.wordpress.com. New members are always welcome to become involved both onstage and behind the scenes!