Welcome to Phil Mansell's Paperblog Writer Blog.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

Random plot generation

Struggling novelists suffering from writer's block can now make use of online random plot generators. Click the button - hey presto, some ridiculous storyline is revealed and you can sit down and write a best-selling book round it. Last night, whilst channel-hopping to avoid anything to do with red noses and enforced jollity, I found a film called 'The Quest', the plotline of which must have come from one of these gizmos.
"A globe-trotting New York pickpocket is captured by pirates and enters a martial arts competition in Tibet".
It starred Roger Moore and Claude Van Damme, who funnily enough, is not the grand-daughter of Vivien Van Damme, owner of the infamous Windmill Theatre.
His proud boast was "We never closed" (or as the punters used to re-phrase it "We never clothed" as the non-stop shows mainly featured naked women). 
Hitler's bombs rained down and squadrons of Luftwaffe darkened the London skies but there was always a place where a man in a shabby raincoat could go to ogle naked women. Makes you proud to be British.

No comments: